It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
