Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
