For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
