well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
