i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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