So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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