i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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