when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
