I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
