you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
