i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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