i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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