Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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