When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
