they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
