There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How does it feel to date your dad?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
