Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
