is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Rumble strips road head = magical
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
