Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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