it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
