I'm drive I can fine osifer
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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