just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
