I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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