Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
