Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
