"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
