My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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