her vagine was all disorganized.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
