I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
