No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have aggressive nipples.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
