My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I can't put those talents on a resume
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
