Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
