so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
