I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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