Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
