He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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