drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
