he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
