i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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