Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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