Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
