Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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