Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
