I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
