I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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