I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
