Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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