She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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