Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
