Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
